I didn't find many smart (more than just looks-wise) girls in my company except one - Rashmi !
On first look, I found her quite stylish and swanky - looking at they way she would wear designer belt and accessories (ala typical 'cool' Delhi-ite girl). I liked the alacrity with which she gave me her MOBILE number when I asked for it the VERY first time. (Girls generally take time to give guys their mobile numbers). Both of us were, eventually, posted on different geographical locations (after our training ended) , that meant - we started communicating via emails/scraps/sms's coz our lil' friendship seed had just been sown...
Our "fledgling" friendship started growing quite exponentially..She started sharing her poems with me (she was quite creative as she was not from UP)...She told me the meaning of her name - "Rashmi" stands for "Ray of Light"...She told me that she had this ability of pepping-up her friends everytime they felt let-down..She said that she possesed the ability of bringing smile on people's faces by her good sense of humour (girls generally have bad sense of humour)..She showed me (via Yahoo chat) the WHACKY pair of PINK SHOES that she had bought on Christmas (so ZANY)..In return she was quite impressed by my WITTY and INTELLIGENT style of thinking (Ripostes)...
Eg : She once asked me (via email) -
"So when will you GET OUT ?" (she meant to say - when will you leave the office, that day ?),
I replied: "Get out of what:
1) WORLD - God knows.
2) MY COMPANY - TIME knows.
3) PROJECT - My Manager knows.
4) OFFICE - I know. "
(No doubt..she was impressed by this riposte....)
Few months later, I was transferred back to the same location where she was posted. I was ELATED with prospect of meeting her personally in the office. But you know what - our FRIENDSHIP EQUATION followed the REVERSE of whatever happened in the beginning....that means, it just deteriorated with time...
Here's a possible explanation:
She had befriended almost all the UP girls in the office...Mind you - I always had this BIASED thinking that UP girls fear UP Boys, that guys from UP (myself being one) can never befriend a girl from UP as the latter is a narrow minded and non-creative specie....This caused the distance between us grow large day by day, as I would STOP making EYE CONTACT with HER whenever I would see HER with "THEM". Couldn't help it coz that's HUMAN EGO at work..The other funny thing that I started doing was that I started IGNORING HER (by not making eye contacts with her) BUT 'WRITING EMAILS/SCRAPS' to her (as if everything was normal between us)...Don't you think that it's SO WEIRD - A guy doesn't make eye contact with a girl or talks to her face to face, but prefers talking via email/scraps...(A possible reason might be the fact that she was always surrounded with detested UP Girls)...One of company mates chided me for this irrational and erratic demeanour, he said - "Dude, a girl would not come to you and say 'Let's go for tea'...It's you who has to take the initiative...Stop this emailing/scrapping shit and start talking to her face to face..."....(POINT TAKEN BUDDY)
Somehow, the craving to be her friend still remained as I stalked her closely on Orkut and came to know that she was very creative (via her blog), intelligent, had good sense of humour (via the TESTIMONIALS from her friends), that she was a FIGHTER (via the TESTIMONIALS from her friends...I always wanted to ask her about the toughest moment in her life and how she fought back)...As I (frequently) saw her enjoying (at office) WITHIN her CLIQUEY little friends' circle (including girls and boys from UP) comprising of BOYS from the lesser known colleges whose sum total of intelligence shall be equal to mine, I couldn't help feeling jealous...But then one of my friends counter-attacked this by saying: "Dude...It's not your problem..Girls, generally, FEAR INTELLIGENCE beyond a certain point. Unfortunately, YOURS lies on the 'REPEL ZONE' !!!"
I've LEARNT many LESSONS:
1) TECHNOLOGY (email/scrap/sms) should SUPPLEMENT your PERSONAL interactions with a girl. PREFER face-to-face interactions over TECHNOLOGY when flirting with a girl...
2) No matter how smart/intelligent you may be, a girl will always find 2-3 boys (as her friends) whose sum total of intelligence shall equal yours (provided your intelligence is high). This ways, she doesn't feel uncomfortable with them as she believes in 'GESTALT THEORY' - "The WHOLE being greater than the SUM of its PARTS !"..She thinks (of very inteligent guys) - "This GUY is SO intelligent, he's so WEIRD"...Coz after all, girls generally have very dumb sense of humour, effectively - that means, if a joke has the least power to even make you smile - it can WREAK havoc on a girl's face (laughter is a better word, I guess)...Following the GIGO PRINCIPLE (Garbage In Garbage Out) : boys with lower IQs shall crack enough stupid jokes to befriend (and impress) girls....This argument implied that I had to chose between two options which were antithesis of each other: Either ACT INTELLIGENTLY or GET INTO HER CLIQUEY GROUP...To follow Darwin's theory of Evolution, I had to opt for the former option (I couldn't opt for being an ape like those 'silly' guys) ! ( :
3) If you start with a BIASED OPINION, it eventually turns out to be correct ! I had this thinking about girls from UP - that they don't befriend guys from UP...And it turned out to be CORRECT (atleast for me)..So be OPEN MINDED....
4) Human Beings have this ability of forming CLIQUEY groups (aka friend circle)...It's very tough to enter into that group as it follows LAW OF INERTIA (I tried very hard to INTRUDE into her group..but failed)
5) JEALOUSY and FRUSTRATION give birth to CREATIVITY ! (Eg - this article)
6) Go SLOW with a relationship (especially with a girl)..Don't just haste, don't be "RASH"...
Last but never the least : I (still) MISS HER friendship !!!
PROBABLY, THE ANSWER IS : "RASH"-THAT'S-"ME" ! (Yes, I'm RESPONSIBLE for messing up with her)
The MOOT point remains : Why can't we free our selves of this stupid thing called EGO? Which causes us (like ME) to do such WEIRD things !!!
Interestingly, the word Rashmi ends with "I"....
( :
3 comments:
I had all that big smile on my face while reading this arrticle. Suddenly my anger winishes in the thin air and here i am writing this comment. But i guess its all about you. isn't it?
Nice one again.its intelligent, full of wit and pretty apt. very interesting. full of marales. You are really an intelligent creature and i will always admire your writing, no matter what.
For me there is one more morale of the story (and the only one i guess) is that "submit to the girl".
Either you are in love or thinkin ;)
A good and honest rendition of your first encounter with love.I Completely understand what your going through buddy.Chill dude it's part n parcel of life.
I am sure your wit,clever conception and your great sense of humor makes you a popular icon among your friends.
Cant help being jealous.lol
This was a good one.
;]
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